Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Life Lived in Turmoil After Childhood

by Maverick

Genre: Drama
Pop Culture: The Brady Bunch, Smurfs, Play-doh


Hi, my name is Jan. Well, that was my name on the famed TV show The Brady Bunch, and I’m her to tell you a little about my life story. From early childhood I thought it was my destiny to be in show biz. I loved acting and it was fun for a while. Being the middle sibling on the show gave me a huge complex; being behind Marcia made me feel less of a person week after week, but as I reminisce about the shortcomings of my childhood, it helped me grow up quicker. When the show went off the air I had trouble finding other work besides some infomercials and bit parts that underused my talents. I began to believe that there wasn’t anything left out there for me. I had a bit of a breakdown in the middle of Saks Fifth Avenue on Rodeo Drive. Someone called for an ambulance and when they arrived one of them gave me a tranquilizer and admitted me into the mental wing of the local hospital. Yeah, I was in there for a while. The hospital assigned me a doctor who, in turn, sent me to the in-house therapist who got down to the root of the problem. The therapist put me through a lot of tests and told me that the lack of a relationship with a man led to my breakdown, so I went to a sexologist who explained it to me through using something I thought was weird – playing with Play-Doh. She told me to mold it into a male and female figure and, because the Play-Doh was blue, all I could think about was those blue creatures The Smurfs – you know, like Smurfette and Brawny Smurf, so, I molded it into them. Then she told me to act out some very personal scenes with my figurines until she told me it was the lack of dating and male contact that had put me in the downward spiral through my adulthood. She recommended a few things I could do to fix my problems. I took her advice and within months my life was back on track. After all that enlightenment from my doctors I felt like a new person and, in retrospect, I think my childhood would have been better if I wasn’t so hard on myself for being the middle child on a sitcom that lasted forever and made me lots of money and residuals throughout the years.

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