That Hillbilly Mom is so durn creative she should be a teacher! After my last post asking for suggestions about a mini-task to complete while we wait on Bubblegum Tate, (And trust me, we are not complaining, dude. Take your time.) she promptly sent me an email just chock full of ideas! I'm telling you, she should teach.
So without further ado, I am announcing Mini-Task #1!
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Welcome to Redneck Hills Mall! Nestled deep in the flat hills of northeastern Oklahoma, Redneck Hills Mall offers shopping for every taste. Come on in and browse our un-airconditioned shopping haven. Oh, don't worry - the lack of air conditioning isn't a big deal. We've got lots of stand fans and box fans stuck in the windows. Plus, when we have them in stock, we hand out those Jesus fans at the door. (You know, the ones on a popsicle stick.) The floors are luxurious hardwood - if you interpret "hardwood" as 1/2" plywood - and the skylights offer you to see nature in all of its uninhibited beauty because well, there's no glass in them. We do have one of the most comfortable restrooms in the area, according to most rednecks who shop here. Well, just have a look-see for yourself:
The carousel in the entrance is a favorite of the young'uns who come to Redneck Hills Mall. Ordinary horses aren't good enough for us high-falootin' shoppers - we have mules, deer and a few large dogs. The kiddies just go berzerk to ride the thirty-point buck.
The parking lot is large and again, we've kept the nature-lover in mind by leaving weeds and brush in their natural state. We try to be a "green" mall when we can. By "green" we mean "we don't mow."
We have many stores here at Redneck Hills Mall. The Scotch Tape Store and The All Applesauce Store are two area favorites. The Quirky Maladjusted Borderline Sociopath Store went out of business last year because the proprietor kept refusing to open for business and when people would peek in the window he would throw tennis balls at them. But that was one isolated incident and the screening process is a little more stringent now. We do have openings for a stores and are accepting applications and business plans now.
Apply today. Applications will be accepted through Wednesday, May 9th, so don't delay!
In your application/business plan, you need to describe the products sold in your store, how the store is laid out, what kind of employees you will hire to run the store, basic decor, etc. Include pictures, if possible. Be creative because Ol' Joe Billy Bob, Redneck Hills Mall President of Operations, while he can't read past about a first grade level, does like to listen to a creative tale written by prospective proprietors in his mall. If you get a knee-slap outta Ol' Joe Billy Bob, you are in for sure!
Send applications to: theredneckdiva@gmail.com
2 comments:
An interesting challenge; sadly, inspiration is escaping me at the moment.
Well, inspiration has struck, of a sort, although, being the wild maverick that I am, I don't think my application is going to quite fit in with Ol' Joe Billy Bob's preferred format. Still, maybe my thinking outside the lines will make my application stand out more! Either that, or get it filed in File Thirteen.
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